


The Sound of Existence

by criss_cross_applesauce



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blank Verse, F/F, F/M, Fusion, Iambic Pentameter, Poetry, Spiritual, poem, transcendence, unity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17265566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/criss_cross_applesauce/pseuds/criss_cross_applesauce
Summary: This is a sibling work to the first story I posted here. If you've read that, you'll know what to expect. If not, well, I hope you'll enjoy it.





	1. Where Am I?

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, there's a chance I might never finish this, but I'll try to see it through.

The echoes clash throughout the endless void.  
These brilliant ceaseless lights go on and on.  
To onward and eternal graceful waves.  
Though space and time is lost, passed to beyond,  
all love and kindness still prevail in here.

They open eyelids to see where they are.  
A hard and most profound of sights come forth.  
With heaviness of heart they see the end.  
Of all the great and wondrous things that were  
have all been erased, back into the one.

"This place, I don't know what has happened here."

Two concepts which are difficult to grasp  
are eternity and negation of.  
True liberation can be found within.  
Look back and see the never ending line.  
The line which stretches back into the dark.  
Such stillness makes an unparalleled peace.  
This quiet is the pure undiluted.  
The calm and loving which we are at heart.  
So now, existence is all united.  
However, it was always truly so.  
Those memories that everyone has had  
they are combined into a massive grave.  
This information, karma taken, learned,  
all being accounted in a log book.

"Is this the destiny that everyone  
will have to face together now for all?"

Before they had a chance to form more words  
they hear them echo back to them once more.  
This place lacks any features that could be.  
There is no black, no white, no clear, no here.  
The deathless, no above, below, or there.  
Begin to understand this calm yourself  
and happy joy which can be kept for you!

They get an answer back to them with haste.  
How sad, the answer they receive confounds.

All that is, grows, evolves revealing life.  
Though love is where the place the now begins  
that doesn't mean that it becomes apart.  
Through twisting of the energy dement.  
The cool and calm got covered in a fog.  
Before this twisting curving hid the truth  
the peace was undivided happiness.  
Aware and here or over there is it.  
So many starts and ends to make the ways,  
the consciousness begins and stops for all,  
and yet will it be never ending vines.  
The wheel will turn, and turn, and turn, again.  
Until the lessons of this turn are learned  
no end will be in sight for those who know,  
nor will for those who have no knowledge, face.  
One separates into the multitude.  
Forgotten is the lying splits of life,  
the truth of life is one and nothing else.  
The things we see out there are truly there  
these labels which we give to these do not.  
One large and massive light does split so much,  
the one and whole is branching into wholes.  
Those little lights which dance around begin.  
Beginning to dance they start to do a spin.  
One little light splits into one and one.  
Preparing for the next iteration  
they take themselves and split again some more.  
What groups they are to take with them forward  
those numbers come to be this, three and four.  
The group of three becomes other, four.  
That other has another, which is five.  
Five now six it has become, it's now done.  
In total, now the lights number at ten.  
Wherever destiny will take these lights,  
together they are bonded throughout time,  
for in the future, surely, paths will cross.  
However, they are unaware of them,  
amazing will their union be, how sweet!

These lights will be so bright and near a crag.

"You make no sense at all, what do you mean?  
How could the answer be to this, 'like me?'"

That is when pull becomes strong and sucking,  
their mind is cleared of their defilements.  
The end of time is now, they do unite.  
Divisions clear, what perfect bliss and love.  
Of dances which have ever been at all,  
take wonder are which end around this turn.  
This place is filled within and of without.  
They fill the nothingness with many lights,  
and yet there are no lights in here to see.  
The dances cease and all is still which end.

This eternity is a void and joy,  
it is not nothing, but is beyond that.  
Divine is now at rest with no divide.  
A realization hooking into them  
not yet beyond the cosmos they are at.

"I like this overflowing heart of joy,  
it feels so warm and right that I am wrapped."

The words, they start to fade away in clear.

AUM.

It rips to new and brighter lights that dance,  
but it without a pain does not exist.  
Their growing pains will leave them in a bind.  
So cold it is to leave the source of all.  
It leaves them screaming through the cold and sharp.

"No please, I do not want to leave this warmth;  
it hurts to leave. I'm begging you to stop!"

They scream as vision separates the one.  
This vision feels so maddening to all.  
Such drifting, wafting, loss of consciousness.  
It goes right down in deeper and deeper.  
Progressing as they wrap into their lies.  
The lies of separation taking hold.

Such piercing screams do echo through their house.  
Their bed is full of sweat as they awake.  
Through covers shooting up this body wake.  
Those rivers pouring on their brow escape.  
This shaking that their hands and body do,  
the cold their sweat makes where this liquid flows,  
of hyperventilation taking toil,  
their heavy breath had suffocated them.  
Unleashed, their breathing went to normal pace.  
With hands on temples eyes went wide and big.  
Arms flopping down to bedding covers softly.  
A soft and gentle gulp they make at this.

They fall and hit the covers laying there.  
Wherever place their eyes do wonder on  
it forms an image in their minds and climbs.  
With unicorns, corrupted gems, and more  
all moving through the ceiling over them  
it makes the journey, which they took, a blur.

“I miss the ocean’s salty breeze and waves.  
What was that sound again? Aa? Aauu… Mmm. Aum.

I remember that. So it was true, huh?

I don’t. Where did you hear about this before?

It’s supposed to be the sound of existence.”

Stevonnie moves across the bed to look.  
Right on the floor imagination rules  
with lion in pursuit and chasing things.  
The seagulls run away, yet some do stay  
and throwing back their heads in laughter there.

“Hmm. The sound of existence, huh? Aaauuummm. Aaauuummm.  
I kinda like it. Yeah, I might keep it.  
I wonder what Garnet would make of this?”

Without them looking back behind she rose.  
“I think it sounds good too. Are you okay?”

They were without anticipation here,  
a lack of warning made a scream today  
it quickly gave them quite a scare and fall.

“Ow… Son of a. Ugh. So early, gah.  
Garnet? What are you doing here? It’s like…”

Their hand did reach and grab their table clock.  
Through hazy vision eyes beheld at three.

“Three in the morning! You don’t do this,  
at least normally you haven’t. Ah geez.”

“I was curious about you lately.  
I saw this happening in a vision.  
You were screaming very loudly before.”

A moment passed and they had blinked at that.

“Oh that. Hah. I was just having a dream.  
Well maybe not a dream, but no nightmare.  
Or was it both? I can’t tell, honestly.”

Their smile is then a frown as they look down.

“Garnet, what’s going on with me this time?  
Neither of me face this problem alone,  
but as me it happens often. Why?”

Stevonnie waits and gets no answer yet.

“Tell me what you saw. Tell me everything.”


	2. That Which Defies Explanation

The sun has yet to banish nighttime dark.  
Stevonnie moves themselves in moonlight rays  
which sinks them further into comfortness.  
Their loveseat softly taking them to grace.  
Across from them their friend and mentor sits.  
A house became their home two years ago.  
Their purchase gave them joy together, yes.  
Though light the room the moon illuminates,  
a few electric lights were needed on.  
A bookcase colored brown is sitting down.  
It sits decorating the room with warmth  
in corner space opposing both of them  
with books that weigh a ton from college times.  
Those novels Connie got from ages past  
‘til present moment’s more advanced from class.  
Her lover was not left from this, indeed.  
His books and trinkets fill in blanks and spots.

A number equals several, passed for months,  
as fusion making what was new to them.  
They never stayed together fused for long  
until one night they had a plan to stay.

In morning following that choice they made  
they went to Connie’s place of work and said,  
“We’re staying this way for a while, as us.  
If you have a problem with that, okay.  
But as us we can perform just the same.”

They did not understand fusion at all.  
Until they saw it right before their eyes.  
The other doctors disbelieved this sight.  
Confusion in their eyes, while looking there,  
they were unsure in what they ought to say.  
Relenting caused by trust that they had gained  
they allowed them in their desire to help.  
The good and nice physician Connie was  
so too Stevonnie fit into this role.

It was not long until top dog said no.  
“We can’t have this, it’s much too dangerous.  
This is a lawsuit waiting to happen!”

“Sir, I understand your concern on this.  
But it’s your decision to make, okay?  
Whatever you do choose, I will comply.  
If you don’t allow it, then I’ll unfuse.”

“Look, I can’t have you working anymore.  
Not as… this. I can’t. But I’m no hardass.  
I’ll give you a few months off for this thing.  
I think I can give you that much, doctor.”

This break she got has almost run its course.  
However, staying like this all the time  
was far from what they planned to do, for now.  
They wonder if they should, to keep her here.  
For Connie has a mortal human life.  
As always, letting go can hurt so much.

The color orange is what the walls have been,  
embellished by the wooden brown of trim.  
A sort of reddish color dominates  
with furniture in here, the living room.  
Around their coffee table they do sit.  
A Persian rug that lays upon the floor  
is decorated with a stunning sun.  
This sun surrounded by a lot of suns  
with orange and yellow smiling strong and bright.  
The suns, they do delight in might for that.  
This energy this rug emits is fine,  
it is the reason both of them did buy.

With arms and legs that cross they look at her  
and then they stretch their arms behind their head.  
It being early in the morning, three,  
was not the best of ways to start a day.  
Before the starting of their talking time,  
a yawn, it grows in volume air then stops.

“Sooo, this dream. I don’t know- it’s just so- ah.  
Was it even a dream to begin with?  
No, that would be too crazy. I mean- I.  
I’ve seen gems and magic, but this. It’s just-  
This is too much magic, even for me.  
I am having trouble describing it.”

“Just try your best Stevonnie. I’ll listen.”

The stubble on their chin they brush again.

“Well. You see, it seems like I wasn’t me.  
Yet, it was clearly me. All of myself.  
Um… The best way I can describe this is:  
It’s like with Steven and Connie, get it?  
I am them, yet I am not them, but me.”

Her head does nod and she motions for more.

“This place was at the end of time. Somehow.  
I was the last being in existence.  
Then I was sucked into something… or one?  
Whatever it was, that was it, no more.  
Nothing else there. Just… ‘me’ and memories.  
Absolute silence for eternity.  
The sound started and I was me again.”

“Hm.”

“This doesn’t make any sense though, Garnet.  
It is as mind bending as fusion is,  
but at least fusion is a finite thing.  
This, on the other hand, is so different.  
It’s the same, but it’s like I’m… everyone.  
I had everyone’s memories in ‘there’,  
no matter how saintly or how vile. Agh.  
Yet that place, it felt like home, warm and nice.”

She waits to hear what else they have to say.

“You know what else that happened there, Garnet?”

“What?”

“It felt like you were there along with me,  
but I was you and you were me. Strange, huh?  
Is it strange that I didn’t want to leave?”

As this new information sinks in kind  
this fusion wants to scream out loud at this.  
There are few things which puts her off this much.  
Some beings she would rather not have linked,  
but this would change the situation more.  
Such things are even difficult to bear.  
She wants to start rebelling against this.  
Stevonnie being fused with her sounds nice,  
yet everyone is not what she would want.  
Unless, this state she heard was nothing like.

“Padparadscha.”

“Huh? What about her? Do you think she could-”

“I remember. She said something like that,  
except it was about prehistory.  
The prehistory of us, all gemkind.”

“What exactly did she tell you of this?”

“She had some sort of episode alone.  
Once, while I was visiting off-colors,  
she was frozen into a position.  
When I touched her shoulder she turned to me.  
She had asked me a very strange question.  
She asked me whether I knew of old gems,  
before the existence of the diamonds.”

“What did you say?”

“I said no, and she responded with this:  
they were like us, but had so much freedom.  
They believed they were small fragments.  
That they were cut from something much bigger  
and that this… thing permeated all things.  
All things were fragments, just like all of them.  
Unlike us, they shattered themselves, a lot.  
They did so willingly and with much joy.”

“Why in the name of everything would they-  
Agh. Why in blazes would they do that, at all?!”

“Without this, the planet would die from them.  
They would overrun planets, just like now.  
This made shattering a most heinous crime.”

“How so? Wouldn’t they just return to… there?”

“They had to be willing to let go then.  
If they weren’t, then their energy would leave  
reducing what the planet could offer.”

“The Diamonds… they thought nothing of such things.  
Shattering gems just because they got pissed.”

The clouds do move and change the shine of moon.  
It lands upon the papers scattered there.  
With books across the table lit so bright.

“How on Earth could she have this gem knowledge?  
You said this was prehistory, or no?”

“You know that she has retrocognition.”

“Yes, but that’s for stuff that just happened now!”

“She was in quite a trance, don’t forget that.”

“Huh. Well, maybe we should go talk to her?”

“Don’t bother, she’s already here out front.”

She walks to frontward door to let her in.  
They hear that gem from out in their abode.

“I predict the following here:  
Garnet is going to open.  
Open doors to truths in home, here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven Universe, the show, is a character.  
> All of the characters put together into one.


End file.
